Thursday, April 18, 2013

P is for Polyamory and Polygamy


     An author friend, Margie Church, and her co-author, K.B. Cutter, just released the second book in their “Razor’s Edge” polyamorous trilogy published by Sizzler Editions. Love’s Storm continues the tale begun in Desire’s Edge. I cannot wait for book three!

     Bryce, Amy, and Raine forge a triad in which each is a partner with the others. What some might call a ménage a trios , the “Razors Edge” trilogy is way beyond that label. Polyamory is the new, hot buzz word in erotic romances.

     Let’s break it down etymologically. Poly- is many. -amory is love. -gamy is marriage. Many loves. Many marriages. Got it?

     Polyamory is not polygamy. In traditional polygamous relationships, one person (typically male) marries multiple partners of the same gender (typically female). The power in the relationship rests with the One, and the others must share the One’s attentions, often unevenly.

     The U.S.’s most famous polygamous town is on the border of Utah and Arizona, Colorado City. State law enforcement officials have disrupted the power structure there due to abuses of women and young men amid charges of underage sexual relationships and forced marriages. Still, polygamy prevails.

     Do not mistake polyamory for an “affair”. Polyamory is an equal-power relationship among all the (typically) multiple mixed-gender partners. However, polyamory isn’t by definition limited to mixed gender relationships. And in a polyamorous situation, attention is shared among the partners equally. This creates a much more complex set of relationship interactions than in the traditional couple mode.

     Whereas polygamists engage in illegal “marriages”, polyamorous participants usually don’t. But they have come to an agreement on the terms and conditions governing the relationships and behaviors allowed.

     Polls tell us Americans generally favor allowing a legal union of same sex couples, as do I. Will allowing polygamy or polyamory legal status be our next acknowledgement of the variety human sexuality can take?

     Where in fact is the legal line? Or should there even be a limit on love?

9 comments:

  1. Good afternoon! Thanks for tackling this dicey subject, Angelica! I'm not sure about the future legal status for polyamorous relationships in reality, but in Book III, Love's Reflection, K.B. and I take a direct line on how our particular family handles it.

    I think that people don't usually know what polyamory is, and since it sounds like polygamy, it must be bad. One of the big issues we focus on in the Razor trilogy is that these are consenting adults who choose this life. They are not born into it, or handed over to it. They can come and go freely without being ostracized from a family they may/probably have loved. Nor do they face legal repercussions. Those, to me, are such sad byproducts, if you will, of polygamy.

    Great conversation here. I hope others will join in.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Margie. I really appreciate the elucidation. I, too, hope others will enjoin the dialogue. It is too easy for many to dismiss sexual experiences that aren't their own. While it may not be my choice, it doesn't mean polyamory shouldn't be a choice. I hope the books K.B. and you write will open the door wider for other options.

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  2. Bravo for your insight and thoughtful analysis.

    I echo Margie's sentiment; great conversation and I do hope others join in and shed any negative preconceptions.

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    1. Thanks, K.B.! How exciting to have both you and Margie here! I hope we get lots of talk going.

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  3. Great post. Very informative. I do think the religious tone of polygamy still leaves a very distasteful aspect of the very word. As stated above on polygamy, the choice is taken away, and abuse take place on many levels against innocent women and young men

    "Polyamory is an equal-power relationship among all the (typically) multiple mixed-gender partners". Therein lies the difference as I understand it.

    I haven't had the chance yet to read this series, but I'm sure looking forward to it as I love both Margie's and kb's books....*S*

    Great post!

    Darcy

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    1. Thanks, Darcy. Illuminating the meaning of polyamory is a big job. And we hope you enjoy these books.

      ((hugs))

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    2. Thanks, Darcy. Yes, polygamy is tainted by a specific religion (in the U.S.), and that does seem to spread to poly-anything. You are going to love the books. Really intense, satisfying, and informative about a topic largely still underground. I hope you stop by again.

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  4. I had never heard of Polyamory and am excited to read how it will all play out with your characters.

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    1. You need to read Church and Cutter's series because they do a wonderful job of making polyamory really clear and believable. Thanks for coming by and commenting. I hope to see you again.

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