Monday, February 11, 2013

Peek-a-Boo Time at the Grammy's

CBS, outraged, do you hear me, incensed at the inappropriate attire worn to past awards events, issued a directive to attendees to button up and cover up and show up camera ready sans skin.

I’m sure the concern was for their health. It is winter, after all.

Here are some snippets from the e-mail sent to attendees:
"Be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered."
"Thong type costumes are problematic." (Missing hypen not my fault!)
"Avoid sheer see-through clothing."
"Avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack."
“Avoid outfits that could expose female breast nipples."
"Be sure that the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible
'puffy' bare skin exposure."  (Huh?)

Now who could forget Jennifer Lopez’s dress at last year’s Grammy’s? So maybe they had a point, yes?

Still, the guidelines were clearly aimed at women. Now admittedly we have seen few men flaunt convention to bare it all for art; still, blatant sexism is just wrong.

Stars being stars, I wonder at the conversations with their designers to see just how far that envelope could be pushed. Clearly, some stars did that, or they didn’t get the memo, or they didn’t read the memo, or maybe they just can’t read. Beats me!

Some of the dresses from this and other award shows could easily show up in Streetwalker (soon to be published by Sizzler Editions) at Harlan’s salon as his whores wait to be tapped for the evening. Carrie described the attire as x-rated prom dresses.

So, Carrie and I viewed the various outfits worn to the Grammy’s last night, and we identified a slate of envelope pushers. Who flaunted best and who were just wannabe’s?

The Also-Rans, in our opinion, were Miranda Lambert for some breast plunging, but, not so much; Solange Knowles and Jennifer Lopez for lots of leg action, but not really enough to take the prize; and, Ashanti for some leg and breast action, but ultimately she was more tacky than taunting.

Who flaunted best? It was a tie! Kelly Rowland wore gauzy see-through patches over her body, accenting her, ahem, assets. And Kimbra donned a tulle, gauze, and sequins number that left us, well, without words.

So how well did that work out for them? What do you think?

Why now is the question? What pushed CBS to relay a dress code to the stars? Is America really unable to tolerate these extravagances, these absurdities that celebs choose to wear? These are performers, after all. They are ALWAYS on when in public. And clearly some want to keep that edge that brings them fame and fortune.

Carrie and I really don’t care. It’s an extravaganza, and if folks are offended, fine, turn it off or change channels. As long as they are not forcing themselves on me, I can make a choice to watch or not. Live and let live.

That said, we did find ourselves attracted to a few gowns we really liked. Here is our “Best Dressed at the Grammy’s” List and a couple of their dresses to show off our good taste (and theirs)!

We really liked the classy and classic look of the gowns of Nicole Kidman, Carrie Underwood, Rihanna, Carly Rae Jepsen, Kathy Griffin, and Faith Hill.

What about you? What were your faves and hates?