Getting Old is Hairy

Those of you who read me on my various blogs know that I am not upset about aging. In fact, given good health, age is just a number. I really do believe that. My grandparents, the ones still alive, were OLD people at my current age. Truly, rocking-chair-stereotype old people. But we’re not that. I even wrote a post about the audience for “cronelit”.

My generation are active in lots of facets of life. Some of us used “a certain age”, with it’s retirement-money cushion, to pursue our dreams in TheThird Chapter of our lives.

But that positivity is being tested. And the culprit? Hair.

I noticed several years ago that I now have hair where I didn’t used to have it much (nose, face) and it’s disappearing where it used to be abundant (legs, underarms, head).

Huh? What’s with that?

My head hair used to be so thick I had trouble brushing it. I couldn’t get through doorways on humid

days. And forget trying to make all the strands behave. I had an unmanageable curly mess of a mane.

Leg and underarm hair left untended could be plaited after a few hours. (By the way, you need a friend to help with that. One cannot braid one’s underarms unaided.)

Okay, so it’s an annoyance to use a little electric gizmo to get rid of facial and nose hair. Kinda gross, even. But if kept up with, most people won’t notice the stubble.

And what a blessing to not have to mutilate, er, shave my legs and underarms every hour! That is pretty wonderful, I gotta say.

But my head hair? C’mon.

I am not happy that pulled back with a barrette, I have to search for bald spots and pull hair around to cover them. I am not happy that I have more forehead than in years past.

But my hair coming out in handsful? That’s just wrong.

I now look like I work in a fast food kitchen with my head wrapped up so I don’t scatter strands among the spaghetti. A hair in the soup? Not so appetizing.

And this is aging, folks. The dirty little secret that crones have kept to themselves. Well, I’m blowing the whistle. As you approach those happy golden years, I urge you to enjoy the less-hair parts and take charge to manage the bad one.

Yes, I mean shave your head and buy wigs in a veritable panoply of colors and cuts. Be a new person everyday. Live your inner life. And don’t sprinkle on other peoples’ parade--or food.

CAVEAT: This was a light-hearted take on aging, but you should see your physician if you are experiencing sudden hair loss to rule out causal medical conditions.