With the legal acceptance
of gay marriage, I am wondering what other sexual no-no’s will be toppled next.
But first let me say, that I thought it stupid that interracial marriage, kinky
sex, and gay marriage were ever forbidden. Really?
I’ve always said that
maybe, when and if there is too much love in the world, maybe I’ll object to
someone in a non-traditional relationship. Non-traditional meaning, that’s not
what mine is. Right now, we are in no danger of that. So, love away, everyone.
Love whomever you wish. Love however you wish.
Except?
What about polygamy?
Now, I know polygamy was a
commonly accepted marital pattern long before modern times. There were reasons
for it, I suppose. Women died at an alarmingly high rate from complications of
pregnancy and childbirth. A hardscrabble, subsistence lifestyle meant more
hands available could help ensure survival. Men can spread sperm faster than
women can pop babies so more women means more potential children.
But that’s not the modern
story in first world countries. In the United States polygamy has been
condemned and outlawed since a Supreme Court ruling in 1878. Why? The holy book
roots that the colonists followed certainly supported in a positive way,
plural, simultaneous marriages. How did monogamy win out?
First some background. Polygamy (many spouses) is the broad
umbrella term for plural, simultaneous marriages. Within polygamy, one can have
polygyny (many wives, the most common
form of polygamy) or polyandry (many
husbands).
Polygamy is legal in 58 of
200 sovereign states. According to Wikipedia, a study in 1988 identified
the marriage patterns of 1,231 societies. Of these 1041 had frequent or
occasional polygyny, 4 had polyandry, and 186 practiced monogamy. Hmm! A bit
outnumbered.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy
In 2000, a United Nations
committee said polygamy violates a covenant on civil and political rights and
that countries should abide by the treaty and eliminate polygamy. But there are
so many countries, primarily Muslim ones, that didn’t agree to the treaty that
there has been little effect from the recommendation.
In general, the objection
seems to be that polygamy hurts women and children as abuses in the FLDS (fundamentalist
Mormon) cases have demonstrated. However, some argue that by legalizing
polygamy, it will be easier to fight the abuses that are already covered by
other laws, such as child abuse, underage marriage, and rape of young girls
forced into marriage. Bringing the marriages into the open sheds light on what
is really happening. Some say. I’m not so convinced.
One way around the polygamy
laws is to have a legal marriage and then have legal adulterous relationships
simultaneously. Polygamy results without the legal sanction. You hear stories
of this in the news periodically. And there are popular TV shows like the
reality show, “Sister Wives”, and fictional shows like “Big Love”, that promote
the polygamous lifestyle choice.
Another big objection to
polygamy is economic. One needs a substantial family income to support the such
large numbers living together. A complaint about FLDS plural marriages is that
the families often go on welfare to ensure that families have enough to eat and
a large enough home to live in. Some say, fine. Make that lifestyle choice. But
no government help will be provided if you do so. Who suffers? Children and
women who are denied adequate nutrition and healthcare. How can that be right?
People are curious how
families like this manage. Manage financially, socially, emotionally, and
physically. Most of us have trouble juggling one spouse and kids! We wonder how
our own insecurities and jealousies would play out in a polygamous setting. So
we watch these shows to see how they do it. And tickle our brains with could
we/should we live a polygamous lifestyle?
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