Wednesday, January 31, 2018

It's None of Your Business, Except When It Is


***Political Viewpoint Blog Post***

I was never a huge Bill Clinton fan. His country-preacher oratory style turned me off. Did I think he could do the job? Yes. Did I think he did do the job? Yes. But personally, I couldn’t stand him to watch or listen to him.

When “The Scandal” hit during his presidency, and coming on the tails of previous allegations of sexual liaisons/assault accusations, I wasn’t shocked. I also wasn’t interested. That was for Hillary and Bill to sort out, and I didn’t need to know about it.

Until he lied. Lying from my president is unacceptable behavior. Under oath or not. It's the
9th commandment in our current president’s favorite book.

Now I no longer cared about the privacy and marital aspects of it. I wanted to know why he thought he could lie to us, to the world. Like Caesar’s wife, presidents have to be above the rules that govern the rest of us. Like it or not, they are role models.

How simple it would have been, in retrospect, for Bill to have admitted his infidelities and put it down to being, literally, a dick head. Man up. Do the right thing. It would not have had nearly the life it took on had he only done the right thing in the beginning.

In Yogi Berra’s words, “It’s like déjà-vu, all over again.”

The latest on 45’s peccadilloes is the hush money paid to a porn star, the news of which broke on the Trump’s recent wedding anniversary. This was an affair during the early years of their marriage. In 2006, his son Barron was born. A few months later he was having an affair with a porn star.

It happened. She gave an interview years ago about the affair, before he was a political figure. The lawyer doesn’t deny paying her through a shell company right before the election. The lawyer denies there was an affair even though he won’t say why he gave her $130K. Smoke, fire. You know the saying. Connect the dots, people.

Melania doesn’t get vocal about the avalanche of infidelity/sexual assault accusations. Oh, she made a half-hearted stab at defense during the election cycle, but it was lame. He acted like a bad boy? That makes it okay? Do we want a 70+-year-old boy president?

This news article laid out the series of observed actions, expressions, and behaviors that seem to say the Trump marriage is in trouble. I’m sorry if that’s true. I believe in marriage and what it represents. I want their marriage to succeed. It’s her first. And since it’s his third, I would hope he would have learned from his previous failures.

I’m sad that this president seems not to and that his behaviors hurt others. Melania seems to be a bright woman who loves her child completely. Imagine not only her personal pain, but that of her son hearing these truths about his father. How can a child reconcile that kind of hurt inflicted on his mother?

So, we care about all this dirt. We care because of what it reveals about our president. Disgusting as his behaviors might be, the real concern we need to have is about the character of the man representing our beautiful county to the world. Liars don’t have credibility. His marriage is still none of our business and whatever problems they have they will work it out. Or not.

I am only concerned about character and the face of the presidency.

Facebook: When are Presidents’ peccadilloes our business, if they ever are? Angelica French says “Sometimes.” http://bit.ly/2DSJdf1

Twitter: Can the #President and his wife maintain privacy when dealing with #marital issues? Maybe. Maybe no. @RomanceRighter expresses a political viewpoint. http://bit.ly/2DSJdf1

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Writing "Bad Boys" in Romance


Here they are again!
I posted last Wednesday about characteristics of bad boys in books and how to write believable ones. In doing research for that post, I gathered so much information, that I thought I’d share the leftovers here.

Well, not really leftovers, actually, since this is new content, but the content is complementary to what I posted last week.

My erotic romance, Streetwalker, features hero Harlan, a bad boy for heroine Carrie. I LOVE Harlan. He is brilliant, powerful, confident, rich, gorgeous, great in bed, and more than a little bit flawed.

Harlan’s rebellion against society’s rules led to losing his medical license. So of course, he started a high end bordello on New York’s Upper East Side, enrolling as clients the rich and powerful of the city as insurance against prosecution. A bad boy.

Not all bad boys wear leather jackets, sport multiple tattoos and piercings, or have a scruffy look about them. Harlan is a great example of an elegant, successful, and living-life-on-his-own-terms, bad boy. And did I mention his sexual prowess?

In a nutshell (for the whole enchilada, to mix a metaphor, read the post at Write on Sisters), a bad boy exhibits certain qualities. I identified these as: exuding confidence, allowing his own interests to take precedence over others’ interests, moody, paradoxical, edgy, displaying an attitude, rebelling with or without a cause, engaging in dangerous hobbies, and being mysterious, complex, and complicated. Women respond to their perception that his strength will bring them protection, a universal need.

In writing your bad boy, be sure to avoid the stereotypes as the only traits. Make him more complex and he’ll interest your readers more. To clarify, we aren’t talking villains here. Villains in our books primarily exist to foil the protagonist, not to act as a potential love interest. Though it does happen.

We’re talking bad boys as guys who appeal to women in books (and real life?), guys you see around every day.

Think about "The Good Wife" Diane Lockhart’s fascination with Kurt McVeigh, a man different from her in nearly every aspect. Can you see the appeal for her, a buttoned-up corporate type? He’s so wrong for her from her friends’ perspective, and when she meets his friends, she finds nothing in common with them. Women who fall for bad boys risk being isolated from other friendships. Kurt is on the softer side of the bad boy continuum.

Another classic bad boy is Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind. He flaunted convention and contrasted well with the ultimate nice guy, Ashley Wilkes. Scarlett, who schemed shamelessly to entrap Ashley, never could shake her attraction for the dangerous and rule-breaking Rhett.

On the harder side of the bad boy continuum, think to Morelli, Stephanie Plum’s nemesis, virginity-taker, and man she simply cannot get out of her life. Adding in another bad boy, but a more complex and softer bad boy, Ranger, just adds to her man dilemma. There is no way Stephanie Plum is going for the nice guy. No way.

An interesting piece I came across, and then lost the link to when I had a computer glitch causing me to lose all my research, was on women and how birth control had changed to put them more in charge of their relationships. The gist of one section was that ovulating women are attracted to bad boys, and women who are on birth control seek men who are perceived more as nice guys. I interpreted this to mean, women want strong, healthy babies (from the rugged men), but they want a nurturing male who will be faithful to them to raise the babe. An interesting notion.

Research into what constitutes a bad boy always leads one to a book by Carole Lieberman and Lisa Collier Cool, Bad Boys: How We Love Them, How to Live with Them, When to Leave Them.

Dr. Leiberman’s research led her to identify 12 archetypes for bad boys. She used movies and folk and fairytales to name them. These destructive men to avoid are: Fixer-Upper Lover, Wanton Wolf, Commitment Phobe, Self-Absorbed Seducer, Wounded Poet, Prince of Darkness, Lethal Lover, Power-Mad Prince, Misunderstood & Married, Grandiose Dreamer, Man of Mystery, and Dramatic Daredevil. A more recent book by Dr. Lieberman is Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them and How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. Analagous to the bad boys book, there are 12 bad girl archetypes. Maybe that will be a later post.

Involved with a bad boy or want to be? Know this. The chances of changing him are slim. And why would you want to? The parts of him that attracted you would disappear, and then what? You leave him because he is no longer edgy, dangerous, challenging? Who wins in that?

If you want more, here are some links so you can do reading on your own.









Interesting? Worth sharing? Here are some copy/paste posts for you. You’re welcome!

Facebook: Angelica French continues her exploration of what “bad boys” are and how to write them convincingly. http://bit.ly/2DHzZ25

Twitter: @RomanceRighter shares what she learned about how to write “bad boys” in romances. http://bit.ly/2DHzZ25

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Tips for Writing Good "Bad Boys"


Bad Boys. You see the fall coming as she tries to make Mr. Wrong into Mr. Right. You’d like to warn her, but you know she has to come to the conclusion herself. Odds are he won’t change. But you know, if she changed her bad boy into a more conventional one, she wouldn’t want him anymore.

Bad boys. We know ‘em when we see ‘em, but defining just who they are is a slippery proposition. Not all are tattooed, pierced, leather-jacketed, motorcycle riders. But they might be. That is such a clichéd trope, however, that the best writers avoid. Rather, the best written bad boys leave you guessing as to how far they will go. And clothes and earrings might not signal that.

To be clear, I’m not talking about villains in books. That’s a particular kind of bad boy, for sure. I am talking about the men women are attracted to but shouldn’t be. The kind of guy you wouldn’t take home to meet Daddy. Him.

I’ve done a good bit of reading on the topic to try to figure out just who “bad boys” are, why women are attracted to them, and how writers can use that information to write more interesting characters. I interviewed an expert on men for his views. (Okay, so it was my husband, still …) And I drew on experience. Okay, limited experience.

Now, not all women are attracted to bad boys, or at least not enough to pursue a relationship with one. But some women fantasize about bad boys. Or they flirt with the possibility and even engage in short term flings. You’ve seen it in books. “Oh, no,” you cringe when she sends a come-hither message to a guy who is so totally wrong! “What are you thinking?” It doesn’t help that he ignores the message. He’s in control of who he wants to be with. If she’s too available, a bad boy is likely not interested.

Well, as the old joke goes with guys (“You’re thinking with the wrong head.”), so it goes with some women. The animal attraction, the lust factor, the forbidden aspect can be intoxicating when confronted with a bad boy.

I would contend that book women, however, are not truly attracted to bad boys who are reallllly bad. They don’t want to get involved with rapists, sadists, abusers, and others of that ilk. No, they like their bad boys to straddle good and bad with the heavier foot down on the bad side. They look redeemable, and therefore present a challenge to women.

Why are women drawn to bad boys? The best thinking is that:
1) Women are curious about men so different from themselves.
2) Women want the vicarious thrill of being a bad girl by hanging out with a bad boy.
3) Women take the bad boy as a challenge to be redeemed or a prize to be won.
4) Women seek men who will dominate them, within boundaries.
5) Women want the prestige of being the pick of a perceived leader.
6) Women want the power that comes with being the pick of a perceived leader.
7) Women are bored with “nice guys”.

Bad boys make great foils in books, no matter the genre. If you want to write in a great bad boy for your next book, keep these tips in mind:

A bad boy exudes confidence. An authentic bad boy can be described as assertive, strong-minded, and decisive. Women are attracted to that confidence and strength. He is not likely to admit he is wrong. He

A bad boy allows his interests to take precedence. He can take or leave a relationship with a woman. A bad boy is unattached. Women are not of prime concern to him emotionally. Some women are drawn to these men who are emotionally unavailable.

A bad boy is a moody charmer. A woman with him won’t know what he’s thinking or what might trigger good and bad moods. But when he turns his attention to her, she thinks she has won the prize. His full attention, so hard to get, convinces her she is the one for him.

A bad boy is riddled with paradoxes making him hard to understand. He kicks over a begger’s money can, but then he visits his sick aunt in the hospital. He swerves his bike to kill a bunny for dinner, but then he rescues a puppy abandoned alongside the road. He won’t remember your birthday, but he volunteers to work with PTSD veterans.

A bad boy has an edge to him. Will he become violent while drinking? Will he pull a knife on someone? Will he move into someone’s personal space to menace him. Will he intimidate someone just to get his way? She should wonder about his stability.

A bad boy displays an attitude. His attitude is revealed sometimes with clothing, piercings, tats and the like. But even without the accouterments, he oozes Attitude. That attitude results in treating others poorly. He’s so into his own wants and interests that he overlooks those of others. He’s rude, he cheats, he brawls, he lies all because his needs are paramount.

A bad boy is a rebel with or without a cause. He challenges authority just because. He takes short cuts, thinks rules are for other people.

A bad boy likely engages in dangerous hobbies. He might even engage in activities that skirt the law if not outright breaking a law.

A bad boy is mysterious, complex, and complicated. He has a back story and you may never find out what it is. He carries psychic wounds that are deep and covered up. He won’t bare his soul to a woman or anyone else. He tends not to be self-reflective.

Does every bad boy in books display the panoply of personality described here? No, of course not. But if you create your own mix of traits, you could have a near infinite number of bad boys for your books.

Please share if you found this interesting. Thanks so much.

Facebook: Bad boys are fun to read and fun to write. Angelica French gives some tips on writing good “bad boys.” http://bit.ly/2rkex0C

Twitter: Bad boys are fun to read and fun to write. @RomanceRighter gives some tips on writing good “bad boys.” http://bit.ly/2rkex0C

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

The Rearview Mirror


Janus, the two-headed god of the Romans, had the advantage over us. His goal was to look back and reflect on the past as well as to look forward and anticipate the future. Reflect is an interesting word, isn’t it? We use it to mean think deeply on or carefully about. We also use it to mean we see an image of ourselves. Very appropriate dualism for this time of year.

So many of us get blinders so we are stuck in looking back, looking in the rearview mirror, not even having a peripheral view. Or we only look forward and live in hope and anticipation of the future without learning from our past. Not a great stance either, but it is more positive.

If you’re in the former camp, try to get out of the backward looking. It is so often filled with regrets and second-guessing. If only I had . . . Why didn’t I . . . Now she’ll never . . .

See how negative and depressing that stance can be?

A Facebook meme caught my eye a couple of years ago. “There’s a reason why the rearview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. Because where you’re headed is more important than where you’ve been.”

Doesn’t that just say it all? Of course we need to consider where we’ve been, but it should not dominate who we are or what we are thinking. Forward looking most of the time will get us to our destination more quickly than having our eyes looking back constantly.

Look back enough to keep oriented. Look back enough to recognize the influence from where you’ve been. But keep on truckin’. Momentum!

Can’t you see this as a theme/subtheme in a book? One partner is forward looking at all times. There is no past, in that person’s view. The past is over and done. No sense thinking about it to either reflect, revel, or regret.

Contrast that person with shis partner who can’t shake the past, who looks backward more than forward. “Living in the rearview mirror,” the past, is as devastating as one who won’t acknowledge the past. Imagine the conflicts you could write!

And don’t we learn lessons from our characters, as we write them, that apply to us, too? If you enjoyed this post, please copy/paste the messages below. Thank you!

Facebook: Do you live your life staring at the Rearview Mirror or do you look through the Windshield to what’s coming? http://bit.ly/2D77QBi

Twitter: #Writers can create characters who contrast by using their world view as Rearview Mirror or Windshield people. http://bit.ly/2D77QBi

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Welcome to the New Year and Your Resolves


You made them, right? And you know you’ll be breaking them, most of you, anyway. And even those who keep them, may not keep all of them. We’re talking resolutions, right?

Roughly half of us will make New Year’s Resolutions. Of that group, about 8% will keep working on them. Not many folks walking around doing their resolutions to make you feel guilty! In fact, in a set of 100 friends, you might have three or four who hang in.

Why do we give up on resolutions?

I believe one reason resolutions are so hard to keep is at the top of this post. These are just words we want to translate to transformation. However, they’re like trying on an itchy new sweater. It just feels weird on your body. What feels comfortable to you are your old clothes. Well-worn, tried and true. Like the unhealthful eating habits you’re trying to replace with more healthful ones, the new habits aren’t yet habits. They’re ideas on papers. It takes work to make an idea into a habit.

Another reason resolutions are hard to keep, it occurred to me, is that there is so much baggage associated with the term “resolutions” (and past failures to follow through). Perhaps if we went back to a root word, we’d have more success. “I resolve to . . .” The word resolve means to decide firmly on a course of action. Whereas “resolution” (a noun) means the same thing, it just sounds wimpier (to me) than the verb “resolve.” Resolve sounds like a solution for an issue.

What do you really want in life?

So why do it? Why engage in the ritual of making resolutions? What do you really want in life? Reflect on each part of you and think what you need. What you want. But instead of making a list of resolutions to break, try this.

Hop on the one-word bandwagon. I’ve written about this in the past. You pick one word to focus each part of your life on—physical, emotional, and mental—and post the word where you see it every day.

I’ve been doing the one-word thing for a few years now, and I like it LOTS better than resolutions. My word this year is momentum. For exercising, which I hate, keep up the momentum. For writing and submitting to contests. Keep up the momentum. In relationships, keep up the momentum. In losing weight, keep up . . . well, you get the idea. One word to bind them all. Hmm. Why does that ring a bell?

I wrote a post on another blog about challenging yourself this year in your writing. Use your one word to spur you on. Check out The Year of Writing Dangerously

In case you’re interested in reading more about the making and breaking of resolutions and why we even do them, I’ve assembled a collection of posts to read below.

Did you find this an interesting post? If so, please share with others.


Facebook: Resolutions, schmesolutions! Improve your life the easier one-word way instead of making resolutions you’ll break. http://bit.ly/2DIIgSf

Twitter: #NewYearsResolutions are so last century! Check out this alternative AND be more successful with the changes you want to see. Join the #oneword movement http://bit.ly/2DIIgSf

Resources on New Year’s Resolutions:

http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/latest-news/article188766114.html

https://www.livescience.com/42255-history-of-new-years-resolutions.html

https://www.livescience.com/42255-history-of-new-years-resolutions.html

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/why-actress-danielle-brooks-doesn-140000642.html

https://answers.search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AwrTHRAOJCxa1AkAIgxXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTExbGtvMmJiBGNvbG8DZ3ExBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDVUlDMV8xBHNlYwNzYw--?p=why+make+new+year%27s+resolutions&fr=tightropetb

https://www.christianpost.com/voice/four-reasons-why-we-fail-in-keeping-our-new-years-resolutions.html

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays-other/why-make-new-years-resolutions.htm